did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
