Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
