i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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