if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
