I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
