Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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