her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
