I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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