We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
