white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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