Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Randomize
