i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
