This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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