my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He has the fingertips of a God
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