I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
