The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
All the doctor said was why
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
