We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
