Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
