We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
