In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
