I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
