please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
