He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
