my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
