Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
