so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
