Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
