if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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