That's intense
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
