and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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