i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
