There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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