he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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