Sponge bath it is.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
