Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
