I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
