we're blogging at a bar
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
