and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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