he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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