Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
