so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
