everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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