Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
