I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
