He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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