remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
