When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
