Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
