You're so nebulous sometimes
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
