He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
